When I said leave me alone, did I forget to include the clause "You shall not infringe upon my dream space nor shall you engage in producing deja vus" ?
I let my eyes lie to me
My senses feel you falsely
The voice is far from true
The dream has seduced me, spun a frail false web around my restless eyelids,
Painting me in your arms, an untruth that will unsettle me when I awake like the first splash of cold water on a swollen cheek.
I dread you dream, deceiver friend.
My mind where you are born I dread.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Enslaving my Brain!
Has anyone ever felt there was something that could be done very easily if they put their mind to it, but the very next second felt like you need to put it away for just some time?
Ah. I've been feeling like that the last eight months about my masters dissertation! And now there's two months left and I'm still gaping at ideas that have been lost in translation!
No, I'm not dumb. No, the topic is exciting (celebrities, doesn't get better) but I have been so snooty to my own dear disso its making me emotional. I'm not a runner away, but this seems like one hell of a brick wall and I need one hell of a yelling down to go smashing into it. Maybe if I stopped looking at it as a brick wall and started picturing it as an exotic journey I'd reach somewhere close to my Abstract chapter. Sigh. No one was ever in need of so much motivation as I am this very moment. * and then wonders she could be reading up on Content Analysis instead of updating this wierd blog* ** also hits self in parallel world**.
Ah. I've been feeling like that the last eight months about my masters dissertation! And now there's two months left and I'm still gaping at ideas that have been lost in translation!
No, I'm not dumb. No, the topic is exciting (celebrities, doesn't get better) but I have been so snooty to my own dear disso its making me emotional. I'm not a runner away, but this seems like one hell of a brick wall and I need one hell of a yelling down to go smashing into it. Maybe if I stopped looking at it as a brick wall and started picturing it as an exotic journey I'd reach somewhere close to my Abstract chapter. Sigh. No one was ever in need of so much motivation as I am this very moment. * and then wonders she could be reading up on Content Analysis instead of updating this wierd blog* ** also hits self in parallel world**.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Leave me Love
Leave me love, I don't want to lose weight.
Leave me soon, I need to work on my dissertation.
Leave me love, this is your sad fate,
Leave me fast, I'll blow up in frustration.
Leave me love, because I don't want to cry
Leave me love because I still love you, sigh.
Leave me soon, I need to work on my dissertation.
Leave me love, this is your sad fate,
Leave me fast, I'll blow up in frustration.
Leave me love, because I don't want to cry
Leave me love because I still love you, sigh.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
PINK CHADDI
I joined the Pink Chaddi campaign and am proud to be a part of it! So proud I feel I can say I'm bursting with pride and I will definitely go pub hopping once I'm in Bangalore just to commemorate my garv!
Pink Chaddi rocks. Women rock. We always have. We always will.
You frustrated souls can go enrol yourselves at Nimhans. It will do India good given the recessionary times.
I'm a Pink Chaddi woman! Are you?
Pink Chaddi rocks. Women rock. We always have. We always will.
You frustrated souls can go enrol yourselves at Nimhans. It will do India good given the recessionary times.
I'm a Pink Chaddi woman! Are you?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Far away.
One Gull. Two gulls. Three gulls. More.
Now magpies too.
A screech now, my eye, yes just one of them, manages to pry open.
You'd think they'd sound like a heavenly orchestra. Pure cacophony now.
Both eyes open. Wink wink.
Cacophony going strong. Splash orange in my eyes! Elvis is yelling 'Stuck on You' under me.
Shift body shift. Wow, head, that was kind of you to volunteer.
Elvis I think I love you, because every night I set the alarm I forget to change that song that makes me wake up expecting to be standing outside Tiffanys in the 1970s!
There must be something.
Gullochestra! Orange yellow sunshine on orange walls so thats double reflection and that in turn is a hope-raising illusion of heaven's gates opening during rich, old Autumn.
There's music. There's light.
There's a blank new face with blank slit eyes waking up everyday to this burst of sound and colour, blankness and adventure. A waking up very different from waking up.
A light-year of experience on its own.
One Gull. Two gulls. Three gulls. More.
Now magpies too.
A screech now, my eye, yes just one of them, manages to pry open.
You'd think they'd sound like a heavenly orchestra. Pure cacophony now.
Both eyes open. Wink wink.
Cacophony going strong. Splash orange in my eyes! Elvis is yelling 'Stuck on You' under me.
Shift body shift. Wow, head, that was kind of you to volunteer.
Elvis I think I love you, because every night I set the alarm I forget to change that song that makes me wake up expecting to be standing outside Tiffanys in the 1970s!
There must be something.
Gullochestra! Orange yellow sunshine on orange walls so thats double reflection and that in turn is a hope-raising illusion of heaven's gates opening during rich, old Autumn.
There's music. There's light.
There's a blank new face with blank slit eyes waking up everyday to this burst of sound and colour, blankness and adventure. A waking up very different from waking up.
A light-year of experience on its own.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Bathscapist?
Of late I realized that every time I go for a shower I have random profound thoughts, that include anything from existence, fame, ambition, social work, ideas for my paintings, lines for my prospective poetry collection, absurd questions to cooking and crows in UK! And vice-versa the whole thing. By which I mean whenever I begin to have profound thoughts bobbing up and down in my cerebral fluid I feel like a shower. In fact I had written a poem about inspiration in the bath, but I thought it was a coincidence, but now I know I'm actually living it everyday. It makes me wonder if I'm escaping into the bath to either nurture these thoughts or to forget them OR I'm just finding any random reason to get under the shower! Either ways I waste a lot of water, of this I'm positive. (shhhh)
Like today, I was pondering on the, well, cliche of cliches, love. And then I ended up hitting my head hard with my ink-bottle and may I add didn't really intend for it to bleed and where's the first place I want to go!? Well, no points for guessing this one. Under the shower! Granted the room is actually a cubicle of sorts, far from being a room, and has apart from the shower no other 'space' to walk into for a change. But is that a reason to' escape', as I'm slowly beginning to call it?
As a child I used to run in to the shower when I wanted to verbally abuse someone I dared not abuse to their face, but this!? Thoughts! Philanthropy! Poetry! Give me a break.
Wait, there could be only one other (very probable) reason for this ab-ash-normal behaviour; the cold. Its minus 2 degree centigrade now, but thats not really what makes me scald my skin under the shower. Its the writing i'm doing now. As I write this, I know I'll end up in the shower to just ponder over why I had to blog about one of my OCDs so unforgivingly! And that being said, Time for shower! :D
Like today, I was pondering on the, well, cliche of cliches, love. And then I ended up hitting my head hard with my ink-bottle and may I add didn't really intend for it to bleed and where's the first place I want to go!? Well, no points for guessing this one. Under the shower! Granted the room is actually a cubicle of sorts, far from being a room, and has apart from the shower no other 'space' to walk into for a change. But is that a reason to' escape', as I'm slowly beginning to call it?
As a child I used to run in to the shower when I wanted to verbally abuse someone I dared not abuse to their face, but this!? Thoughts! Philanthropy! Poetry! Give me a break.
Wait, there could be only one other (very probable) reason for this ab-ash-normal behaviour; the cold. Its minus 2 degree centigrade now, but thats not really what makes me scald my skin under the shower. Its the writing i'm doing now. As I write this, I know I'll end up in the shower to just ponder over why I had to blog about one of my OCDs so unforgivingly! And that being said, Time for shower! :D
Friday, January 9, 2009
Procrastination delays, but does not neccessarily deter.
I wait. I wait.
I wait to weigh it out. I wait so long to consider the risk of putting a thought from inside of me on a platter for the world.
I think I have raised a question to myself, knowing I can never truly answer. But.
There is no answer to a consideration.
It is a trick question;
Like "to be or not to be".
To reveal or to hide.
To share to swallow.
To be selfish and save.
I give up. I considered too long and lost many a thought, a zillion moments and memories that could have been shared. But now I give up. Here I am. Here are my words.
I wait to weigh it out. I wait so long to consider the risk of putting a thought from inside of me on a platter for the world.
I think I have raised a question to myself, knowing I can never truly answer. But.
There is no answer to a consideration.
It is a trick question;
Like "to be or not to be".
To reveal or to hide.
To share to swallow.
To be selfish and save.
I give up. I considered too long and lost many a thought, a zillion moments and memories that could have been shared. But now I give up. Here I am. Here are my words.
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